Money Changers in the Temple
I think this came from Playboy (might have been Penthouse), but it seemed worth sharing. It’s a collection of the best and worst of Christian Consumerism, although I could only glean the worst from this particular collection… you might think I made up the descriptions. I did not. They are directly from the manufacturer’s materials with minor editorial commentary.
Click the picture for a larger view
Ranked in order from least offensive/ridiculous to most:
- Follow the Son sandals (flip-flops where I’m from) stamp “Follow Jesus” into the sand with every step. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12 He also supposedly died for our sins and cried about his father forsaking him the entire time.
- Gospel Golf Balls have a verse imprinted on the ball so that a even a lost ball can proselytize and save a lost soul. Set of three top quality golf balls, each inscribed with Scripture quotation from John 3:16, makes a unique witness opportunity on the green, and a terrific gift for the Christian golfer! For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
- For every lame parody for products such as Mountain Dew, there are also the lame religious parodies. Believers call it witness wear. Rather than having the effect the wearer intends, I would expect that it serves to deter most conversations. So, in a sideways reference to Jesus (not Judaism) the shirt implores you to “Do the Jew”… strictly in a religious sense I assume.
- Align is a men’s magazine that contains the complete New Testament. According to the publisher, it makes the Bible as easy to pick up as your favorite magazine? The new BibleZine™ created with today’s modern guy in mind. With an edgy, techo-savvy style and content that makes Biblical truth fresh and relevant, it might just make Bible reading the best part of your day. By putting one of the most readable versions of the Bible, the New Century Version®, together with articles about the topics you face everyday, we’ve created a ‘zine that will help you get deeper in the Bible, find out what God has to say for your life, and grow in your faith. Looks like there is just the one issue so far.
- Scripture Candy is reported by the CEO of the company to allow kids to “get a Christian message into schools without getting into trouble.” We take the best tasting candies and wrap them in Scriptures so that they can be passed out to everyone. It’s a great way to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A single piece of Scripture Candy is like that seed planted by the sower in the parable spoken by Jesus in Matthew 13; it has the potential of producing a tremendous harvest. As you go along in your day-to-day routine, you can be one of the few workers Jesus was talking about by simply offering a piece of candy to everyone you meet, because they might be the next person the angels rejoice over in heaven for coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Seriously?.
- Bibleman, originally played by Willie Aames (also of Charles in Charge fame), is the hero of a long-running, brainwashing TV series. The toy shown is wielding the Sword of the Spirit. Now kids and adult Bibleman fans alike can create their own adventures at home with these collectible, high-quality, detailed action figures. No fan of the Bibleman series can live without these hand-held replicas of the Caped One and his faithful sidekick. How else to practice intricate light-sword moves and snappy Bible-verse quotations?The Bibleman action figure is approximately 6″ tall and comparable in quality to action figures found in general market toy stores. Each figure is hand-painted and comes with accessories to allow for more intractivity. These toys will cleverly extend the number of available hours for aspiring young superheroes to train for their eventual audition. As Richard Dawkins says, this is basically child abuse.
There you have it. The best and worst (primarily) of Christian Crap.
And the people replied…