Randy Pausch Dead… and Agnostic?
I have been wanting to post on Dr. Pausch’s death by pancreatic cancer and his religion, but really couldn’t find much to say beyond the other extensive reporting, and thought I was getting out of control with the obituaries (Snow and Carlin).
Richard J. Radcliffe on the Law Religion Culture Review has an excellent post on Pausch and his religion (or lack thereof). I will point out that Pausch comes very close to embracing atheism when he says:
I was raised Presbyterian and attended church regularly until I was about 17. I like the fact that [Unitarian Universalism] appeals to reason and thought more than dogma.
I think this was a man who had sworn off religion much the same way I have. If I found myself in his situation, I would conduct myself in the EXACT same way (well, I don’t teach, so it would be unlikely for me to give a last lecture). My children do not know that I am a non-believer. Many of the things I tell them have a universal non-religious wisdom just as the things Randy left for his children. It’s possible he folded in more religion privately, but the philosophy he shared publicly is what will endure and be repeated thus defining who Randy Pausch was. This will be what everyone, including his kids, will remember.
The best things I have seen come from him in his last few months of life are:
Never lose the child-like wonder. It’s just too important. It’s what drives us.
Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you.
Do not tell people how to live their lives. Just tell them stories. And they will figure out how those stories apply to them.
We’re not going to talk about spirituality and religion. Although I will tell you that I have experienced a deathbed conversion. I just bought a Macintosh.
I’ve heard this said before and strongly subscribe to the notion:
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!
He was an impressive man and it gratifies me a great deal to see what an effect he has had on others.
Kudos, Randy, and thanks for speaking out publicly for your kids. It made us all better people.
This guy is scary: http://www.americanvision.org/blog/?p=146
Not sure how you arrive at atheism/agnosticism when Dr. Pausch himself admits to being part of a religious organization and having a minister. Cognitive dissonance is a fascinating thing.
Oh, and I am sure you will be disappointed to know that Dr. Pausch’s calendar (clearly displayed in his time management lecture given last year) had a recurring appointment on Sunday morning labeled “Church”.
Well, ABC at 123.com (if that’s your real name… obviously a Jackson 5 fan), clearly Randy had taken a giant step back from his roots, and I am only presuming the next logical step. Officially, right now, I also have a church affiliation and a minister. If I were to drop dead today, people would presume all sort of things about me that I would be unable to confirm or deny whether I would like to or not.
I am disappointed in his calendar only in the same way I am disappointed in mine. I have Church on my calendar as well, but only because my children go. They are older than Randy’s, so they know I will not attend regularly, and generally understand why. They know that I do not believe in a personal god, but if they attempted to articulate my beliefs, I suspect I would end up sounding more Jewish than Atheist by their description.
The point was that he was definitely more rational than religious, and your data points do little to indicate that he believed in a god of any kind.
Sadly, I wish I was more “out”, but as I said, if I were on my death bed, I would probably act just like he did, but I choose to live mostly in the non-believers closet because it creates siginificantly less friction in my life. I am always authentic when the topic comes up directly, which interestingly, it seldom does.
Don’t be fooled or over-estimate the intuitiveness of your children. Although you don’t tell them, by your actions and non-verbal reinforcement, if they are too young to put the pieces together now, they will as they mature and realize that you have mis-led them. In essence, the reprecussions will prove to be heavier in the future. I’m not saying you have to posture and lead them to believe that you are a believer. But, let them know you ARE a non-beleiver and let them determine what and how they believe on their own. It will save you the pain when they look at you as deceiving them and find it difficult to determine what they believe. I’m a believer, although I do struggle with my faith. I tell you this to answer any questions you may have. I lay no judgement because I know these matters are of individual concern for the person alone. And, I impart this advice with no religious or faith context, but from a child/parent relationship. Let them know where you stand, and give them the freedom to make their own choice. They will respect you more for it.
Chris, thanks for your thoughtful comment. Clearly my relationship with my (nearly grown) children is far to complex to describe on a blog. What they do know is that I am a man of reason. They know that over the past several years that I only attend church to honor an invite from my parents or other “special” occasion. I have shared with them that God means different things to different people and to respect those differences. I am comfortable with how I have raised them, although I wish now that I had started to step back from faith even sooner. It’s hard to tell whether you are older or younger than me, but your e-mail sounds exactly like something I would have written 8-10 years ago. Good luck with your struggle and I hope we are each raising productive, educated, free thinking young people.