Lay Theism

I think this came from Playboy (might have been Penthouse), but it seemed worth sharing.  It’s a collection of the best and worst of Christian Consumerism, although I could only glean the worst from this particular collection… you might think I made up the descriptions.  I did not.  They are directly from the manufacturer’s materials with minor editorial commentary.

Click the picture for a larger view

Ranked in order from least offensive/ridiculous to most:

- Follow the Son sandals (flip-flops where I’m from) stamp “Follow Jesus” into the sand with every step. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12 He also supposedly died for our sins and cried about his father forsaking him the entire time.

- Gospel Golf Balls have a verse imprinted on the ball so that a even a lost ball can proselytize and save a lost soul. Set of three top quality golf balls, each inscribed with Scripture quotation from John 3:16, makes a unique witness opportunity on the green, and a terrific gift for the Christian golfer! For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

- For every lame parody for products such as Mountain Dew, there are also the lame religious parodies.  Believers call it witness wear.  Rather than having the effect the wearer intends, I would expect that it serves to deter most conversations. So, in a sideways reference to Jesus (not Judaism) the shirt implores you to “Do the Jew”… strictly in a religious sense I assume.

- Align is a men’s magazine that contains the complete New Testament.  According to the publisher, it makes the Bible as easy to pick up as your favorite magazine? The new BibleZine™ created with today’s modern guy in mind. With an edgy, techo-savvy style and content that makes Biblical truth fresh and relevant, it might just make Bible reading the best part of your day. By putting one of the most readable versions of the Bible, the New Century Version®, together with articles about the topics you face everyday, we’ve created a ‘zine that will help you get deeper in the Bible, find out what God has to say for your life, and grow in your faith.  Looks like there is just the one issue so far.

- Scripture Candy is reported by the CEO of the company to allow kids to “get a Christian message into schools without getting into trouble.” We take the best tasting candies and wrap them in Scriptures so that they can be passed out to everyone. It’s a great way to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A single piece of Scripture Candy is like that seed planted by the sower in the parable spoken by Jesus in Matthew 13; it has the potential of producing a tremendous harvest. As you go along in your day-to-day routine, you can be one of the few workers Jesus was talking about by simply offering a piece of candy to everyone you meet, because they might be the next person the angels rejoice over in heaven for coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Seriously?.

-  Bibleman, originally played by Willie Aames (also of Charles in Charge fame), is the hero of a long-running, brainwashing TV series.  The toy shown is wielding the Sword of the Spirit. Now kids and adult Bibleman fans alike can create their own adventures at home with these collectible, high-quality, detailed action figures. No fan of the Bibleman series can live without these hand-held replicas of the Caped One and his faithful sidekick. How else to practice intricate light-sword moves and snappy Bible-verse quotations?The Bibleman action figure is approximately 6″ tall and comparable in quality to action figures found in general market toy stores. Each figure is hand-painted and comes with accessories to allow for more intractivity. These toys will cleverly extend the number of available hours for aspiring young superheroes to train for their eventual audition. As Richard Dawkins says, this is basically child abuse.

There you have it.  The best and worst (primarily) of Christian Crap.

Atheism, Graphics, Religion crap, garbage, gift ideas, gifts, jesus, parody, reason

I accidentally found this when writing my Bryant Wright post!  Too funny.  You should try it.  Amazingly, I could not score less than 51 after three tries! What the hell? That only gets me to purgatory.  I guess with lame questions about income and questioning my beliefs, it skews the result.  For instance, I never question my beliefs, but neither would a devout suicide bomber I imagine. See what you can score and post your results here.

Enjoy:

Headed to Hell, I Guess...

Sampling of the questions for your reference (non-functional):

Shamelessly copied from The Afterlife Test, by Heaven Hell Purgatory.

Agnostic, Atheism, Graphics, Polling, Religion, Science, Statistics faith, god, heaven, hell, Love, purgatory, sex

To help you celebrate Easter next year, here is a wonderful batch of Easter greetings for your loved ones… 

A friend of mine sent me a couple of these irreverent e-cards that definitely got a chuckle out of me.  These folks don’t seem to sit firmly in the non-belief camp, but whomever wrote these cards doesn’t take religion too seriously:

Let’s just relax tonight and watch The Passion of the Christ

 

There are few former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford

 

I hope the abundant Easter symbols of fertility and rebirth will remind us to fuck like bunnies

 

Sorry the fulfillment of the Lord’s promise means I’m saved and you’re not

 

Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross

 

The Easter Bunny still scares the living shit out of me

 

I’d love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist

 

Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another

 

Please join us for Easter dinner unless you’ve already committed to Satan

 

Let’s resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights

 

Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you’re a Jew

 

Drag a pagan to church this Easter

 

After Jesus, you’re my second-favorite Jew

 

I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work

And the only one that actually made me laugh out loud (not Easter themed):

Have a happy Hanukkah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah, or however the fuck you spell it 

Thanks someecards.com — keep up the good work.

Atheism, Graphics, Religion bible, cards, clever, comedy, easter, funny, greetings, holiday

I wrote a while back about the inadequacy of the study by Bruce Hunsberger and Altemeyer of non-believers entitled Atheists.  In fact, the subtitle of their book is at best misleading because of the focus on the atheists in only three samples. Their surveys were very well written, but their samples were terrible. But that was another day (more here).

Today, I want to point out an impressive study with a strong methodology, large sample (35,000), and fascinating conclusions.  The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life has just completed a tremendous survey of religion in the United States and has revealed exactly what I suspected (emphasis mine):

More than one-quarter of American adults (28%) have left the faith in which they were raised in favor of another religion – or no religion at all. If change in affiliation from one type of Protestantism to another is included, 44% of adults have either switched religious affiliation, moved from being unaffiliated with any religion to being affiliated with a particular faith, or dropped any connection to a specific religious tradition altogether.

The survey finds that the number of people who say they are unaffiliated with any particular faith today (16.1%) is more than double the number who say they were not affiliated with any particular religion as children.

My guess is that religion is NOT supplying the answers that people seek.  How can it?  It’s mythology. All religions were completely, 100% dreamt up my men… typically primitive men desperate for explanations regarding tragedy and natural phenomena. 

As more information becomes available via the Internet, our 250+ channels, modern schooling, book stores, etc., people will have more and more difficulty reconciling truth and reality with ancient texts.  Another highlight of the study includes the numbers of “Unaffiliated”. 

Hey, there I am!  I like the description “Secular Unaffiliated”.  How cool is that?  The term Atheist always gives me heartburn because it seems to be used almost like a weapon… for shock and awe. It certainly cuts to the chase. Although, almost anything is better than “bright” – oh, please…

I am not sure what “Religious Unaffiliated” means, but in the future, I would rather see a category called Non-Believer or Non-Theist, and I’m happy to join the atheists there.  I know there is really no distinction between my non-belief and atheism, but note that only 1.6% were comfortable identifying as the latter. 

It’s one of those weird things… when you find that you are an atheist… because it is essentially impossible for you to believe in the claims of religion – you have no choice of succinct label.  Once you are at the point of non-belief, you are, in fact, an a-theist.  HOWEVER, many people (ahem, present company included) still have trouble identifying with that lot.  I have found when it comes right down to picking the words that come out of my mouth when asked (what I am) are “non-believer”. That quickly turns to “You’re an ATHEIST?!” (typically with significantly increased volume on the respondent’s part). To which I must reply, “Yeah, I guess I am.” Then, because I am choosy about the company I keep and allowing the conversation to steer into that area, we usually proceed to have an intelligent conversation.

I know this veered off into “me” territory, but I think this survey is strongly indicative of the unraveling of organized religion, which is exactly what happened to me.  And, unlike over the last several millenia, once the genie is out of the bottle this time, no one will be able to put him back.

As an aside, great post from Majikthise.

Atheism, Graphics, Polling, Religion, Statistics athiest, Baptist, belief, Catholic, data, Evangelical, faith, god, Hindu, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim, Orthodox, Protestant, Southern Baptist

I thought this was pretty clever…

I pulled it from http://suitemindcrime.livejournal.com/ but their comment interface requires a LiveJournal ID…  won’t be getting one of those. 

At any rate, thanks, Self Spirit from TN.  I like your style.

Graphics funny, sarcasm