Louis C.K.: $780,000 From Beacon Theater Special Online Sales Going to Staff, Charity

Comedian Louis C.K., known for his crude and raw humor, made a serious announcement that he would be giving away most of the money earned from selling his Beacon Theater special online. During an interview on “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” Wednesday, C.K. announced that he had made $1 million in sales from his online special so far because of ”a $5 impulse that 220,000 people had.” He admitted it was the first million he had made “all at once.” Perhaps struck with the joy of the holiday season, or just plain struck, C.K. said that he “felt uncomfortable having that much money,” so he divied it up: $250,000 went to production costs; $250,000 for his staff’s bonuses; and $280,000, the largest chunk, would be donated to five charities.
“I just started dishing it out,” he told Fallon.
C.K. said the charities include the Fistula Foundation, which helps abused women; Green Chimneys, which works with children and animals; the Pablove Foundation, which help children with cancer, Charity: Water, which provides clean drinking water to impoverished countries; and Kiva, a microfinance organization that offers small loans to people in need. The remaining $220,000 would go to fund a “new one,” C.K. added, laughing and pointing to his lower region. The comedian told “Nightline” anchor Bill Weir in a recent interview how he went rouge with the release of his “Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theater” show, blowing off HBO and Comedy Central to sell downloads himself on his website for $5 a pop. Not only that, he also wrote, produced, performed and edited his fifth stand-up special on his MacBook Pro by himself . The special was posted on C.K.’s website, which has no corporate affiliation, on Dec. 10. Visitors can download the special for $5 using a PayPal account. C.K.’s comedic style has changed dramatically over the years. A decade ago, his act was more absurd, silly humor, but more recently, he goes for raw honesty. “It just kind of happened because when you start doing comedy you’re trying to think of funny things. You’re trying to find funny things, and you’re trying to be funny,” C.K. told Weir. ”At some point, you just get older. You grow up and you get tired of doing it and something happens where you just don’t care — you just can’t keep faking it, you can’t keep being fake.”
“Some people harden into a glazed version of their fake selves,” C.K. continued. ”‘I’ve seen them all the time. They’re frozen into this one face on stage. And after the show you’re like, ‘How you doing?’ and they’re like, ‘Yeah! I’m OK!’ And they’re living with some awful thing in their life. I said to myself at some point I’m either going to stop this or I’m going to do the wrong version of this. I was like, ‘these jokes suck.’ I had gone around many times with ’this guy’s funny, maybe he could do a TV show!’ ‘Ahh, maybe not.’ I’d gone that circle so many times, and I realized I don’t want to do this. Let’s really trash this career in a fabulous way.”

http://www.hulu.com/watch/311565/saturday-night-live-tebow#s-p1-sr-i1

Tim Tebow Saturday Night Live Skit

Chicago BEARS 10

Denver BRONCOS 13

[Announcer]

Another miracle win for the Denver Broncos who beat the Chicago Bears by 3 in overtime. The Broncos have now win 6 in a row behind quarterback Tim Tebow.

[Tim Tebow - Taran Killam]

Alright, alright, I want to thank you guys for believing in me. I know I started a little shaky out there, but we pulled it out ’cause we stuck together!

[Team]

Yeah….

[Tim Tebow]

And also, I gotta thank the most important person in my life, my Lord and savior Jesus Christ because I could not do this without him. Thank you Jesus!

[Jesus - Jason Sudekis]

Hey everybody!

[Tim Tebow]

Jesus! He has risen.

[Jesus]

Oh no no no – not really just a quick visit so ah everybody take a seat – go ahead take a seat. Chill out. Ah. First of all, you’re welcome. Yes I, Jesus Christ, am indeed the reason you’ve won your past six football games, alright.

[Tim Tebow]

I knew it!

[Jesus]

Ok. Whoa Tim! Easy easy. Hey buddy, leave a little room for the holly ghost, ok.

[Tim Tebow]

Alright

[Jesus]

Ah, here’s the thing. Ok, if we are gonna keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me half way out there, let’s face it, it’s not a good week if every week I the son of God have to come in and drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter. Ok. I’m a busy guy.

[Tim Tebow]

So wait! Your only helping in the fourth quarter.

[Jesus]

Ah – Ya! Ya, if you watch the game film of the first half, I mean come on, 3 for 16, ah come on, I can throw better I’m 2010 years old ah hah.

[Tim Tebow]

I pray to you before every game.

[Jesus]

Ya – I know, I know. I appreciate that that here’s something else you should do before the game eyy eyy stretch. You know, get the arm warm, you know, read the Playbook, alright, do you read that?

[Tim Tebow]

The Holly Bible is my playbook

[Jesus]

Oh, ok great, that’s great. That’s great, but ah but you need to read the reg- you need to read the regular playbook ok?

[Tim Tebow]

(nods head)

[Jesus]

But seriously, I’m doing all the work here.

[Team]

Ah, come on, don’t be so hard on Tim, he’s helping us win.

[Jesus]

Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, that’s cute, that’s cute, now, no, Tim’s doing his best God bless him. But you know who you should be thanking, your kicker. Ok, I mean you don’t win unless this guy hits a 59 yard-er, I’m serious, man, Matt Prater, I pray to you, brother.

[Matt Prater - Andy Samberg]

Wow! You pray to me! I didn’t know that.

[Jesus]

Ah ya, you know, that’s because I’m not in every one’s face about it.

[Jesus]

(head knocks Tim)

[Team]

So Jesus spends his time helping people win football games?

[Jesus]

Well you know, here’s the thing, I just go where people call me the most, nowadays that’s a lot of football games. Ah, also the country music awards. You know, I decide all those. Ah, I’m right there at any black event where food is served.

[Team]

Hey man! (laughs)

[Jesus]

(laughs) I’m sorry. I’m forgiven.

[Jesus]

Look, you see the point is you guys gotta help yourself a little, I mean. Can you do that for me?

[Broncos Team]

Yes

[Jesus]

Alright, listen, I can’t be around next week, I got a big birthday coming up and ah, ah I kind of tough to shop for. What do you get for the man who sacrificed everything, right?

[Tim Tebow]

Ya..(laughs)

[Jesus]

Don’t don’t need that. LYBIO.net

[Jesus]

It’ a medium joke at best, alright, I don’t need that, come one. So here’s my advice, alright, just focus up, alright and you’ll be fine. Alright. Who you play next?

[Tim Tebow]

The Patriots.

[Jesus]

Oh boy! Really! Wow! Ok, I did not know that, that’s gonna be a tough one, alright hey, this doesn’t leave this room but if I’m the son of God, Tom Brady’s gotta be the guys nephew, alright. That guys a miracle worker, ok, oh, put that coach ah Belichick, let’s just say: (devil sign) so they are coming at you both ways there. Alright, so any whoo. I’m off to a beauty pageant so best of luck next week, so I’ll try to watch Tim, Tim. I love you.

[Tim Tebow]

(I know) I love you too.

[Jesus]

Ok, alright, just ah “take it down a notch”, will you buddy.

[Tim Tebow]

Yes, Lord, whatever you command.

[Jesus]

Ok, not a command just a request. Alright. Ok, I gotta catch this cloud, all see you all – whoa whoa by the way: Mormonism All True, every single word, ya. Alright, peace, see you guys.

[Team]

Alright, let’s hit the showers.

[All Team]

Ya….

Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue Source: LYBIO.net

Jesus Fucking Ween

And I’m really sorry on behalf of humanity for these fucking idiots:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/under-god/post/westboro-baptist-church-uses-iphone-to-announce-steve-jobs-funeral-protest/2011/10/06/gIQAJqBjPL_blog.html

Posted at 07:12 AM ET, 10/06/2011

Westboro Baptist Church uses iPhone to announce protest at Steve Jobs’s funeral

Westboro Baptist Church announced plans Wednesday night to protest Steve Jobs’s funeral, sending the message out. . .wait for it. . . via Twitter for iPhone.

Margie Phelps, daughter of the small church’s founder and the lawyer who represented the church during their First Amendment case at the Supreme Court, (which Westboro won,) was among the Phelps family members to use Apple products to Tweet about the death of the Apple co-founder.

“Westboro will picket his funeral.He had a huge platform; gave God no glory & taught sin,” Margie tweeted Wednesday night on her iPhone.

The Topeka, Kan. based church is mostly made up of Phelps family members but has risen to international infamy because of their funeral protests of celebrities and American soldiers. The church’s members believe that God punishes America for its tolerance of sin, including acceptance of homosexuality.

The iPhone-wielding Westboro members seemed unable to find any irony in their embrace of the technology of a man they condemn. One church member even suggested that God was using Jobs to help advance the message of Westboro Baptist Church: “God used Steve Jobs to create amazing STUFF for WBC to preach,” wrote Shirley Phelps-Roper.

I wish I had my own wheel, but his belonged to a friend, so alas… I do not know how to dress. Although, I do know what to wear with GRAY!  Looks like Holeproof is big in Australia, but this came from Allentown, PA. Please to enjoy, and let me know if you have ever seen one of these.

Dinosaur Skull Found in Church

By Rossella Lorenzi | Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:42 AM ET

The marble-like balustrade in the Cathedral of Vigevano where the dinosaur skull was found.

Encased in pinkish marble-like slabs supporting a balustrade, this dinosaur — or what’s left of it — has for centuries been the most faithful presence in the Cathedral of St. Ambrose in Vigevano, a town about 20 miles from Milan.

“The rock contains what appears to be a horizontal section of a dinosaur’s skull. The image looks like a CT scan, and clearly shows the cranium, the nasal cavities, and numerous teeth,” Andrea Tintori, the University of Milan paleontologist who spotted the fossil near the altar, told Discovery News.

Measuring about 30 cm (11.8 inches), the skull was cut in sections as slabs of the marble-like rock were used to build the Cathedral between 1532 and 1660.

Horizontal section of the dinosaur skull. The cranium, the nasal lobes and numerous teeth are visible.
The calcareous rock in which the dinosaur remains are embedded comes from the rich fossil-bearing site of Mount San Giorgio, which is on the Unesco World Heritage List.

“It is called Broccatello and was mined in Arzo, Switzerland. We know that this type of rock dates geologically to the Lower Jurassic, about 190 million years ago,” Tintori said.

It is not clear what animal the skull belonged to. Tintori hopes to solve the mystery with a three-dimensional reconstruction of the fossilized remains.

Reggie Watts – F_ck Sh_t Stack

Very clever commentary.

Restoring America?  Seriously, First Redeemer?

Sign reads: Restoring America Conference, October 10-12, Ann Coulter, Herman Cain, Fred Barnes, Walid Shoebat, Free Admission

We are so screwed. Where is the great middle?? Left/right extremists are ruining this country.