Lay Theism

Maybe this is not very nice, but my heart soared when I saw this headline:

Televangelist Schuller’s empire in trouble

Leadership stumble brings financial chaos

I think it was the word “televangelist” that did it.  I think what they do is despicable. They pray on the weak-minded and frequently the weak-walleted.  Screw ‘em… glad their “empire” is crumbling.  Maybe we’ll make some enlightened progress in this country yet.

More of the article

By GILLIAN FLACCUS
Associated Press
Sunday, February 01, 2009

GARDEN GROVE, Calif. — Once one of the nation’s most popular televangelists, the Rev. Robert H. Schuller is watching his life’s work crumble.

His son and recent successor, the Rev. Robert A. Schuller, has abruptly resigned as senior pastor of the Crystal Cathedral [you've got to be fucking kidding me]. The shimmering, glass-walled megachurch is home to the “Hour of Power” broadcast, an evangelism staple that’s been on the air for more than three decades.

“Hour of Power”… they aren’t kidding.  Take a look as these numbers:

The church is in financial turmoil: It plans to sell more than $65 million worth of its Orange County property to pay off debt. Revenue dropped by nearly $5 million last year, according to a recent letter from the elder Schuller to elite donors. In the letter, Schuller Sr. implored the Eagle’s Club members — who supply 30 percent of the church’s revenue — for donations and hinted that the show might go off the air without their support.

Holy shit.  Eagle’s Club? Do they get to go to the front of the line when they die? 

Nevermind.  You just get the same crappy eagle pin, regardless of level: Regular Eagle, Golden Eagle, Platinum Eagle, or Diamond Eagle (allow 4-6 weeks for processing and shipping – not kidding).

“The final months of 2008 were devastating for our ministry,” the 82-year-old pastor wrote.

Awwww… sniff.

The Crystal Cathedral blames the recession for its woes. But it’s clear that the elder Schuller’s carefully orchestrated leadership transition, planned over a decade, has stumbled badly. [...]

Today’s increasingly fragmented media landscape is also to blame, said Quentin Schultze, a Calvin College professor who specializes in Christian media.

Church-based televangelism led by powerful personalities filled TV in the 1980s, but now only a handful of shows remain, he said. Among the struggling ministries are those of Oral Roberts and the late D. James Kennedy of “The Coral Ridge Hour” TV show.

I am praying that these collapse soon as well.

“I don’t see a scenario for maintaining a TV-based megachurch anymore. The days of doing that in the models of Schuller and Jimmy Swaggart and Oral Roberts are over,” Schultze said. “It’s amazing to me that the ‘Hour of Power’ was able to keep going as long as it did.”

Yay!!

He studied marketing strategies to attract worshippers and preached a feel-good Christianity, describing himself as a “possibility thinker” and spinning his upbeat style into a 10,000-member church and a broadcast watched by millions worldwide.

I’ll bet he did… just tell them what they want to hear!  If we aren’t cautious and wise, some asshole will gallop in and find a new way to package the religion message.

The church’s main sanctuary, the Crystal Cathedral, is a landmark designed by renowned architect Philip Johnson, with a spire visible from afar amid Orange County’s suburban sprawl. Thousands make the pilgrimage to see where the broadcast is filmed before a live congregation.

The Schullers consider the church a family business and the younger Schuller’s 2006 appointment was sanctioned by the Crystal Cathedral’s parent denomination, the Reformed Church in America.

Thank GOD they reformed because they were a bunch of sinning, theiving whores before and on their way to hell in a handbasket.

The church has since instituted a rotating roster of high-profile guest preachers, including Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Community Church, the Chicago-area megachurch, and evangelist Luis Palau.

No one really gives a shit, but I figure if anyone goes searching for these guys, at least Google now has their names indexed. 

On the church Web site, concerned members and TV fans have posted hundreds of comments protesting the upheaval, with some indicating they have stopped giving or will leave altogether.

That’ll teach ‘em… no seriously, that will do it.  Definitely stop giving… and leave.

Melody Mook, a 58-year-old medical transcriptionist from El Paso, Texas, said she stopped her $25 monthly donation and is looking elsewhere for her spiritual needs. She said she dislikes the guest pastors.

I am very, very sad for Ms. Mook.  She should go volunteer at a homeless shelter or something to fill that spiritual gap.

“I feel hurt and confused and I’m not sure that I want to sit and watch when I know there’s problems beneath the surface,” she said. “You feel like you’re in somebody else’s church every Sunday.”

Others said they felt betrayed that the Schullers couldn’t put God before their family spat.

“They have not been forthcoming at all,” said John Dewart, an insurance agent from New Jersey who’s watched for 30 years. “Why can’t a father and son work together for the glory of God? That’s my big question.”

That’s an easy one.  Because God is not really first.  Power (ahem) is first and control follows the power.  Also, God doesn’t exist, so it’s difficult for Him to have any divine influence over this upheaval. At any rate, it’s too much to wish them eternal damnation, so I hope it merely destroys them financially so that they have to be productive for a living rather than spreading the message of personal powerlessness for three decades.

If you want to see something sad, click here:

Crystal Cathedral: http://www.crystalcathedral.org/

Crackpots.

Agnostic, Atheism, Google, Religion belief, church, depression, economy, finance, recession, scary

I am so impressed with this girl’s intelligence, honesty, and maturity. Stunned actually.

Atheism

If you never thought there was something seriously wrong with the Holy Bible, maybe you should see what devout Bible teachers have to say about it and its foretelling of prophecy:

The way to identify the beast is by counting. In ancient times, letters of the alphabet served as numbers. The first nine letters stood for the numbers one through nine, and the next nine for the numbers ten through ninety, and so on. In Greek, the current alphabet did not have enough letters, so certain obsolete letters and signs supplemented the system. Every name yielded a number.

However, the identity of the person represented by the number 666 should not be a subject of speculation until that person arrives on the earthly scene. The person to whom 666 applies must have been future to apostle John’s time, because John clearly meant the number to be recognizable to someone. If it was not discernible to his generation, the generation to whom it will be discernible must have lain in the future. If 666 is the number of a future individual, attempts to identify past entities through the number are futile.

This is just sad. There is an entire Bible Prophecy class if you are so inclined.  How about judging the Bible in its historical context versus establishing basic human rights for all:

Often Bible verses that seem unfair or discriminatory to us need to be viewed within their historical or cultural context. For instance the Bible does not condemn slavery and in fact the Bible actually codifies the rules for keeping slaves. Today we find slavery abhorrent and for some of us the idea that the Bible codifies how slaves are to be treated is very upsetting. But in its historic and cultural context that codification of how slaves are to be treated was in fact a hard thing for people of that time to live up to. In other words, that codification made the life for the slave in Israel better than the slaves life would be someplace else.

Jesus H. Christ in a hand basket… slavery has always been abhorrent.  You think that GOD – the creator of the universe, good, evil, etc. would have clued humanity in a couple of millenia ago if it slavery was bad, right? This alone should invalidate the Bible for any right-minded person.  And then there is Gordon Atkinson who successfully made it out of the muck, but then slid back:

I looked in the restroom mirror and said, “I do not believe in God.” I knew this was the truth and felt the need to say it out loud. I was on the other side now. I was an unbeliever. It was like waking up in Tokyo and noticing to your great surprise that you’ve become Japanese. You weren’t raised in Japan, and you have no idea how to use chopsticks. What the hell are you gonna do with yourself? [Huh?]

It wasn’t the experience with Jenny [a woman that died of breast cancer that could not be saved with prayer] that caused my break with God. It was the kids in Mexico, my difficulty in believing parts of the bible, the phony Christians I met along the way, and the hundreds of prayers that seemed unanswered. Jenny was just the last ping of a hammer that had been working on my foundation for a long time.

It breaks my heart.  Here is a man that “works his ass off” [his words] helping people and doing good works, and then he gives the credit to God.  What the hell?!  Dude… there are plenty of people doing good in the world that are not beholden to mythology.  I wish you would reconvert to your birth state (non-believer, pre-brainwashing) and join us without the distraction of God looking over your shoulder.  I think meditation (aka prayer) is wonderful, but don’t pretend someone is listening.

Agnostic, Atheism, History, Religion, Science anti-Christ, bible, bullshit, charity, demons, faith, insane, prayer, study

Created by OnePlusYou

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* hell (9x)
* death (3x)
* punch (1x)

I think this is quite silly particularly based on the words used to rate, but I suppose I haven’t offered anything better. Therefore, my blog is rated R.

Note: This tool also works on myspace profiles, livejournals, facebook, and most websites

What’s My Blog Rated?

Google, Graphics, Statistics blog, censorship, rating, silly

This is absolutely hilarious. After watching it, I went looking for the transcript, but came up empty. So, for your viewing and reading pleasure, I bring you “Monkeys Talk About Religion” from Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (preceded by The Life and Times of Tim with “Gay Gary”).

MONKEYS TALK ABOUT RELIGION

Monkey Son: Dad, today at school my teacher said we evolved from other animals. That’s not true, is it?
Monkey Dad: Of course not, Steven. We were created by Monkey God in His Monkey image.
Monkey Son: But how do we know for sure God’s a monkey?
Monkey Dad: Well, do you think God throws his own poop and enjoys jumping up and down in place?
Monkey Son: Yeah…?
Monkey Dad: And do you think when he’s eating bananas, he periodically stops chewing and looks around with an angry expression to make sure no one’s plotting to steal them?
Monkey Son: Yeah…?
Monkey Dad: And do you think his ass is slightly less hairy than the rest of his body?
Monkey Son: Yeah.
Monkey Dad: Then, there’s your answer, champ.
Monkey Son: OK… but how do we know God really loves us?
Monkey Dad: Because his Son died for our sins. Monkey Jesus could have ripped off the Roman’s arms and masturbated all over their bodies, but he chose love instead. And I think that makes Him pretty darn special.
Monkey Son: Cool! Thanks, Dad!
Monkey Mom: How’s our son doing?
Monkey Dad: He’s going to be OK, Paula. He’s going to be OK.

Agnostic, Atheism, Religion, Science, Video bible, blasphemy, comedy, family, god, jesus