A Free Thinker is Satan’s Slave!
March 11th, 2010
Archive
Posts Tagged ‘comedy’
God Creates World!
December 23rd, 2009
But not without creating some serious confusion among humans already present on Earth:
Members of the earth’s earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.
According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.
“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.”
“Everything is here already,” the pictograph continues. “We do not need more stars.”
Article continues at The Onion.
Monkeys Talk About Religion
January 15th, 2009
This is absolutely hilarious. After watching it, I went looking for the transcript, but came up empty. So, for your viewing and reading pleasure, I bring you “Monkeys Talk About Religion” from Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (preceded by The Life and Times of Tim with “Gay Gary”).
MONKEYS TALK ABOUT RELIGION
Monkey Son: Dad, today at school my teacher said we evolved from other animals. That’s not true, is it?
Monkey Dad: Of course not, Steven. We were created by Monkey God in His Monkey image.
Monkey Son: But how do we know for sure God’s a monkey?
Monkey Dad: Well, do you think God throws his own poop and enjoys jumping up and down in place?
Monkey Son: Yeah…?
Monkey Dad: And do you think when he’s eating bananas, he periodically stops chewing and looks around with an angry expression to make sure no one’s plotting to steal them?
Monkey Son: Yeah…?
Monkey Dad: And do you think his ass is slightly less hairy than the rest of his body?
Monkey Son: Yeah.
Monkey Dad: Then, there’s your answer, champ.
Monkey Son: OK… but how do we know God really loves us?
Monkey Dad: Because his Son died for our sins. Monkey Jesus could have ripped off the Roman’s arms and masturbated all over their bodies, but he chose love instead. And I think that makes Him pretty darn special.
Monkey Son: Cool! Thanks, Dad!
Monkey Mom: How’s our son doing?
Monkey Dad: He’s going to be OK, Paula. He’s going to be OK.
George Carlin – Dead at 71
June 23rd, 2008
Legendary comedian George Carlin passed away Sunday night at the age of 71. I owned many of the original LPs that George cut back in the 70s and 80s… and I must say, as funny as those were, I really was impressed by his recent comeback. He had become much more outspoken about politics and religion, and the best part was that he forced you to think. He had not forgotten the value of a cheap laugh, but he also knew the power of intellect.
Incredibly, I had blogged about George just a few days ago. Wonder what would happen if I blogged about Glenn Beck? Hey, I just did!
George, you will be missed.
Look for the HBO George Carlin marathon on June 25-27.
Religion is Bullshit
June 18th, 2008
And the people replied…