Lay Theism

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Deals to Good to Be True!  But, there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch…

Millions in prizes at Corpus Christi church this Easter, but at a price.

“The Ultimate Giveaway” sounds like a promotion at a car dealership or a department store, not a contemporary, non-denominational church, but that is (in fact) the name of the Easter service series at Corpus Christi’s Bay Area Fellowship, where they’ll award $2 million to $3 million in prizes this weekend. It’s meant to sound worldly and materialistic so that they can draw in local unchurched populations, Cornelius insists. The church says it has only heard complaints over the campaign from fellow Christians. Well, you can officially register my complaint. Organized religion is already distasteful enough.  If the promise of everlasting life doesn’t do it, just give away cars!

The “twist” is that the real Ultimate Giveaway was John 3:16:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.
– John 3:16 (New American Bible)

Ugh…  please.  This mythology is so old and tired.  The story is fraught with so many issues, and using Easter as a marketing opportunity is giving plenty of people heartburn.  The price of course is the cheapening of everything.  Being a good Christian is now something people need to be tricked into… wait a second.  I guess things really haven’t changed, they are just more up front about it now.

Stop the madness… and don’t even get me started on the mess the Catholics have gotten themselves into.

Atheism, History, Politics, Religion belief, Christian, church, faith, holiday, jesus, jew, myth, skeptic

Here I am.  Still blogging two years later… still a non-believer.  For sure.  I have too seen much evidence that directly contradicts an all-powerful God that interacts with the concerns of this mortal coil.  I saw a child’s mother die of terminal cancer on Christmas Day, I saw a baby mauled by a pit bull brought to the hospital, I saw a man cheat on his wife for weeks while he worried about how it affected his faith.  Are you fucking kidding me?

Shit happens, and bad choices happen, and the two are frequently causal. Interestingly, the more bad choices you make, the more shit happens.  Ergo, if a friend goes to his friend’s in your new car, drinks 3-4 generous drinks an hour, and then takes off in your new SUV (OK, this story is about my car), then he has certainly made a bad choice… and so have I.  Well, guess what this genius didn’t clue in on: he is driving an unfamiliar vehicle, drunk, and might not drive well… because he’s drunk.  He did hit someone from behind.  Cops came.  Arrested his ass and threw him in jail.  Impounded my car ($9,000 damage).  He basically refused to cooperate.  Guess what… automatic one-year license suspension and virtually guaranteed DUI conviction ($2000-4,000 either way just to defend).

Several bad choices above, but it NEVER EVER fails.  Make good choices (not godly choices)… just smart, moral choices, and good things will tend to happen.  That’s very karma-like, and it works.  There are exceptions, but it’s not God doing anything one way or the other.  Several people had the power to prevent this problem or change the outcome, and it’s not God working in a mysterious way.

Don’t let this happen to a friend or family member this holiday season or ever.  Don’t let people drink and then drive.  Give them a bed or a cab.  It’s just the right thing to do.  We are lucky that the douche nozzle in my story didn’t kill anyone.  Relatively minor damage, but $16,000 in repairs and legal fees later (and 30 days of work release jail) is a tough lesson.  Don’t live that way.  This “friend” is someone that I can’t just walk away from (unfortunately), so I am stuck helping him.

Ironically, or not, the major tool in this story is a Christian.  He drowns his sorrows in booze regularly because he can’t make sense of a fucked up world that God doesn’t seem to care about and he has thoroughly wrecked his life….  well, no shit.  Easier to blame the bastard deity that did it versus your own dumb ass and poor choices.

Hope to write more on these real world things in 2010.  Still trying to get the game plan together.  Hang in there, and if you ARE out there, please comment.  I haven’t a clue what you folks are interested in talking about….

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I finally was able to skate through Christmas without attending a religious service.  In a family full of Christians, it’s pretty tough to not get roped into a evening service or a choral presentation or some other faith-based celebration.  Because of a scheduling fluke, my wife and I were able to bow out gracefully and head home to prepare dinner.

It’s been an interesting year for me…  Next year I want to open up more via this blog.  Seems the best blogs to me are the ones where people reveal a little about themselves and their life experience.  I like several “link puke” blogs, but I really like the ones where people have something to say or something to share that I might learn something from their point of view, or at least be entertained!

Many things that took place in my life this year will allow me to open up more next year, to my readers, and to my family.  I hope you have a happy, healthy, prosperous next year, and if you care one way or the other, please let me know.  I promise to be interesting, if you promise to tell me when I suck.  All the best…  Hugh.

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I love my wife more than you Christians love yours because I am not conflicted about whom I should put first in my life. 

In case you are curious, this is by no means the only account of Valentine’s Day’s origin, but it’s probably the most agreed upon by secularists and religious folk (secular version first):

Roman emperor Claudius II imposed a ban on marriages because too many young men were dodging the draft by getting married (only single men had to enter the army). A Christian priest named Valentinus ignored the ban and performed secret marriages. He was caught, of course, which meant that he was imprisoned and sentenced to death. While awaiting execution, young lovers visited him with notes about how much better love is than war — the first “valentines.”

As you might have already guessed, the execution occurred in 269 CE on Februrary 14th, the Roman day dedicated to celebrating love and fertility. After a couple of centuries (in 469, to be precise), Emperor Gelasius declared it a holy day in honor of Valentinus instead of the pagan god Lupercus. This allowed Christianity to take over some of the celebrations of love and fertility which had previously occurred in the context of paganism.

Another similar version (written by a Christian zealot):

The Emperor’s ban on marriage for his soldiers was soon lifted when it became impossible to enforce. But this story now takes an odd turn. A short time after the execution of Valentine, the Roman Church came under the leadership of a priest named Augustine. Strange as it may seem, he formulated a church doctrine on marriage that resembled the edict of the former emperor Claudius. As can be seen by his own writings, Augustine was a man tormented over the whole subject of human sexuality. He finally came to the conclusion that for a man to be truly a “good soldier of the Faith,” he must not be distracted by any “carnal thoughts” like marriage. He thus instituted a practice that is still observed today, called the celibacy of the priesthood. Predictably, as with the soldiers of Emperor Claudius, this rule of celibacy brought much trouble upon the church, and has been a violently debated topic down through history. But if the decision had been left up to old Saint Valentine, you can be sure what his verdict would have been. Had he known what the future held for his own church perhaps he could have warned them. It seems odd indeed, that though Valentine had given his life in protest of the injustice of forbidding marriage, becoming a martyr, and being proclaimed a “Saint” by the church for his courage to stand for what was right, only a hundred years later to again see that same prohibition imposed within that very church… and so goes the great love story of Valentine… The legend of Valentine is an interesting one, and gives us some valuable insights… In these confusing days we live in, we are looking for a new day when there can be a restoration of pure love relationships. 

Step away from God and it becomes much, much easier to restore pure love to your relationships.  I promise.

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To help you celebrate Easter next year, here is a wonderful batch of Easter greetings for your loved ones… 

A friend of mine sent me a couple of these irreverent e-cards that definitely got a chuckle out of me.  These folks don’t seem to sit firmly in the non-belief camp, but whomever wrote these cards doesn’t take religion too seriously:

Let’s just relax tonight and watch The Passion of the Christ

 

There are few former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford

 

I hope the abundant Easter symbols of fertility and rebirth will remind us to fuck like bunnies

 

Sorry the fulfillment of the Lord’s promise means I’m saved and you’re not

 

Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross

 

The Easter Bunny still scares the living shit out of me

 

I’d love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist

 

Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another

 

Please join us for Easter dinner unless you’ve already committed to Satan

 

Let’s resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights

 

Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you’re a Jew

 

Drag a pagan to church this Easter

 

After Jesus, you’re my second-favorite Jew

 

I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work

And the only one that actually made me laugh out loud (not Easter themed):

Have a happy Hanukkah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah, or however the fuck you spell it 

Thanks someecards.com — keep up the good work.

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