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Tim Tebow Meets Jesus on SNL

December 21st, 2011
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In keeping with the holiday theme… Hilarious:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/311565/saturday-night-live-tebow#s-p1-sr-i1

Tim Tebow Saturday Night Live Skit
Chicago BEARS 10
Denver BRONCOS 13
[Announcer]
Another miracle win for the Denver Broncos who beat the Chicago Bears by 3 in overtime. The Broncos have now win 6 in a row behind quarterback Tim Tebow.
[Tim Tebow - Taran Killam]
Alright, alright, I want to thank you guys for believing in me. I know I started a little shaky out there, but we pulled it out ’cause we stuck together!
[Team]
Yeah….
[Tim Tebow]
And also, I gotta thank the most important person in my life, my Lord and savior Jesus Christ because I could not do this without him. Thank you Jesus!
[Jesus - Jason Sudekis]
Hey everybody!
[Tim Tebow]
Jesus! He has risen.
[Jesus]
Oh no no no – not really just a quick visit so ah everybody take a seat – go ahead take a seat. Chill out. Ah. First of all, you’re welcome. Yes I, Jesus Christ, am indeed the reason you’ve won your past six football games, alright.
[Tim Tebow]
I knew it!
[Jesus]
Ok. Whoa Tim! Easy easy. Hey buddy, leave a little room for the holly ghost, ok.
[Tim Tebow]
Alright
[Jesus]
Ah, here’s the thing. Ok, if we are gonna keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me half way out there, let’s face it, it’s not a good week if every week I the son of God have to come in and drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter. Ok. I’m a busy guy.
[Tim Tebow]
So wait! Your only helping in the fourth quarter.
[Jesus]
Ah – Ya! Ya, if you watch the game film of the first half, I mean come on, 3 for 16, ah come on, I can throw better I’m 2010 years old ah hah.
[Tim Tebow]
I pray to you before every game.
[Jesus]
Ya – I know, I know. I appreciate that that here’s something else you should do before the game eyy eyy stretch. You know, get the arm warm, you know, read the Playbook, alright, do you read that?
[Tim Tebow]
The Holly Bible is my playbook
[Jesus]
Oh, ok great, that’s great. That’s great, but ah but you need to read the reg- you need to read the regular playbook ok?
[Tim Tebow]
(nods head)
[Jesus]
But seriously, I’m doing all the work here.
[Team]
Ah, come on, don’t be so hard on Tim, he’s helping us win.
[Jesus]
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, that’s cute, that’s cute, now, no, Tim’s doing his best God bless him. But you know who you should be thanking, your kicker. Ok, I mean you don’t win unless this guy hits a 59 yard-er, I’m serious, man, Matt Prater, I pray to you, brother.
[Matt Prater - Andy Samberg]
Wow! You pray to me! I didn’t know that.
[Jesus]
Ah ya, you know, that’s because I’m not in every one’s face about it.
[Jesus]
(head buts Tim)
[Team]
So Jesus spends his time helping people win football games?
[Jesus]
Well you know, here’s the thing, I just go where people call me the most, nowadays that’s a lot of football games. Ah, also the country music awards. You know, I decide all those. Ah, I’m right there at any black event where food is served.
[Team]
Hey man! (laughs)
[Jesus]
(laughs) I’m sorry. I’m forgiven.
[Jesus]
Look, you see the point is you guys gotta help yourself a little, I mean. Can you do that for me?
[Broncos Team]
Yes
[Jesus]
Alright, listen, I can’t be around next week, I got a big birthday coming up and ah, ah I kind of tough to shop for. What do you get for the man who sacrificed everything, right?
[Tim Tebow]
Ya..(laughs)
[Jesus]
Don’t don’t need that. LYBIO.net
[Jesus]
It’ a medium joke at best, alright, I don’t need that, come one. So here’s my advice, alright, just focus up, alright and you’ll be fine. Alright. Who you play next?
[Tim Tebow]
The Patriots.
[Jesus]
Oh boy! Really! Wow! Ok, I did not know that, that’s gonna be a tough one, alright hey, this doesn’t leave this room but if I’m the son of God, Tom Brady’s gotta be the guys nephew, alright. That guys a miracle worker, ok, oh, put that coach ah Belichick, let’s just say: (devil sign) so they are coming at you both ways there. Alright, so any whoo. I’m off to a beauty pageant so best of luck next week, so I’ll try to watch Tim, Tim. I love you.
[Tim Tebow]
(I know) I love you too.
[Jesus]
Ok, alright, just ah “take it down a notch”, will you buddy.
[Tim Tebow]
Yes, Lord, whatever you command.
[Jesus]
Ok, not a command just a request. Alright. Ok, I gotta catch this cloud, all see you all – whoa whoa by the way: Mormonism All True, every single word, ya. Alright, peace, see you guys.
[Team]
Alright, let’s hit the showers.
[All Team]
Ya….
Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue Source: LYBIO.net

Tim Tebow Saturday Night Live Skit

Chicago BEARS 10

Denver BRONCOS 13

[Announcer]

Another miracle win for the Denver Broncos who beat the Chicago Bears by 3 in overtime. The Broncos have now win 6 in a row behind quarterback Tim Tebow.

[Tim Tebow - Taran Killam]

Alright, alright, I want to thank you guys for believing in me. I know I started a little shaky out there, but we pulled it out ’cause we stuck together!

[Team]

Yeah….

[Tim Tebow]

And also, I gotta thank the most important person in my life, my Lord and savior Jesus Christ because I could not do this without him. Thank you Jesus!

[Jesus - Jason Sudekis]

Hey everybody!

[Tim Tebow]

Jesus! He has risen.

[Jesus]

Oh no no no – not really just a quick visit so ah everybody take a seat – go ahead take a seat. Chill out. Ah. First of all, you’re welcome. Yes I, Jesus Christ, am indeed the reason you’ve won your past six football games, alright.

[Tim Tebow]

I knew it!

[Jesus]

Ok. Whoa Tim! Easy easy. Hey buddy, leave a little room for the holly ghost, ok.

[Tim Tebow]

Alright

[Jesus]

Ah, here’s the thing. Ok, if we are gonna keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me half way out there, let’s face it, it’s not a good week if every week I the son of God have to come in and drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter. Ok. I’m a busy guy.

[Tim Tebow]

So wait! Your only helping in the fourth quarter.

[Jesus]

Ah – Ya! Ya, if you watch the game film of the first half, I mean come on, 3 for 16, ah come on, I can throw better I’m 2010 years old ah hah.

[Tim Tebow]

I pray to you before every game.

[Jesus]

Ya – I know, I know. I appreciate that that here’s something else you should do before the game eyy eyy stretch. You know, get the arm warm, you know, read the Playbook, alright, do you read that?

[Tim Tebow]

The Holly Bible is my playbook

[Jesus]

Oh, ok great, that’s great. That’s great, but ah but you need to read the reg- you need to read the regular playbook ok?

[Tim Tebow]

(nods head)

[Jesus]

But seriously, I’m doing all the work here.

[Team]

Ah, come on, don’t be so hard on Tim, he’s helping us win.

[Jesus]

Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, that’s cute, that’s cute, now, no, Tim’s doing his best God bless him. But you know who you should be thanking, your kicker. Ok, I mean you don’t win unless this guy hits a 59 yard-er, I’m serious, man, Matt Prater, I pray to you, brother.

[Matt Prater - Andy Samberg]

Wow! You pray to me! I didn’t know that.

[Jesus]

Ah ya, you know, that’s because I’m not in every one’s face about it.

[Jesus]

(head knocks Tim)

[Team]

So Jesus spends his time helping people win football games?

[Jesus]

Well you know, here’s the thing, I just go where people call me the most, nowadays that’s a lot of football games. Ah, also the country music awards. You know, I decide all those. Ah, I’m right there at any black event where food is served.

[Team]

Hey man! (laughs)

[Jesus]

(laughs) I’m sorry. I’m forgiven.

[Jesus]

Look, you see the point is you guys gotta help yourself a little, I mean. Can you do that for me?

[Broncos Team]

Yes

[Jesus]

Alright, listen, I can’t be around next week, I got a big birthday coming up and ah, ah I kind of tough to shop for. What do you get for the man who sacrificed everything, right?

[Tim Tebow]

Ya..(laughs)

[Jesus]

Don’t don’t need that. LYBIO.net

[Jesus]

It’ a medium joke at best, alright, I don’t need that, come one. So here’s my advice, alright, just focus up, alright and you’ll be fine. Alright. Who you play next?

[Tim Tebow]

The Patriots.

[Jesus]

Oh boy! Really! Wow! Ok, I did not know that, that’s gonna be a tough one, alright hey, this doesn’t leave this room but if I’m the son of God, Tom Brady’s gotta be the guys nephew, alright. That guys a miracle worker, ok, oh, put that coach ah Belichick, let’s just say: (devil sign) so they are coming at you both ways there. Alright, so any whoo. I’m off to a beauty pageant so best of luck next week, so I’ll try to watch Tim, Tim. I love you.

[Tim Tebow]

(I know) I love you too.

[Jesus]

Ok, alright, just ah “take it down a notch”, will you buddy.

[Tim Tebow]

Yes, Lord, whatever you command.

[Jesus]

Ok, not a command just a request. Alright. Ok, I gotta catch this cloud, all see you all – whoa whoa by the way: Mormonism All True, every single word, ya. Alright, peace, see you guys.

[Team]

Alright, let’s hit the showers.

[All Team]

Ya….

Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue Source: LYBIO.net

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